Have You Seen This? Please pause the wedding so I can hit my golf ball

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By Usa Express Daily


Estimated read time: 3-4
minutes

THE BACK NINE — I was a teenager when Tiger Woods changed golf forever. The game that seemed to be for wealthy bankers and trust-fund kids was suddenly cool. Every kid my age suddenly had an interest in golf.

I grabbed my dad’s old clubs — the ones where the woods were made out of wood, found all the loose change around the house and called my buddy to ask if his mom could drive us to the par 3 course (my mom could pick up). I was terrible, but I have been playing for nearly 30 years and I’m proud to let you know, I’m still awful.

The relationship between human beings and golf is much like that of a bad relationship that we’re blinded to. We give the partner (golf) our time, money and love. In return, the partner (golf) consistently humiliates, infuriates and belittles us, all while putting us in impossible situations over and over again. Regardless of how badly we’re treated, we continue to put massive amounts of money into the relationship, even seeing a couples therapist (golf lessons) to help us get through the trials. None of it matters, however, because just when you think things are going really well (like a 38 on the front 9), the partner (golf) reminds you you’re not as good at this relationship thing as you thought and everything goes to pot (you shoot a 56 on the back 9).

Something else that happens in this relationship — we are so in love that we completely ignore the socially acceptable way to act in public. For example, I have seen adults hurl $1,200 clubs into the stratosphere because of a duffed shot. Could you imagine seeing someone trip over a curb in a $1,200 pair of shoes, just to remove the shoe and throw it into the middle of the street?

This video is another perfect example of being willing to act a fool due to misplaced priorities.

A couple is swearing their undying love to one another by joining hands and pledging their love by being married. As the officiator is marrying the couple, a golf ball can be seen over the bride’s shoulder and, soon after, a golfer. Instead of honoring and respecting the marital vows and moving his ball out of the way, the golfer decides he can’t take a stroke and hits his shot right in front of the wedding party.

Now, this may seem like an insulting and disrespectful thing but, in the example of our proverbial bad relationship, this couple was actually crashing this man’s tee time and was an unwanted third and fourth wheel. Also, as a golfer, this wasn’t a great shot, but it was just off the fairway and no one was taking a stroke for that. However, I have never met a faithful golfer.

I promise you this man has cheated on his partner (golf) on more than one occasion by pretending to find the ball that he sent 300 yards into the briar patch, or maybe forgot to mention the hack out of the weeds when he completely missed his ball and called it a “practice swing.”

Keep golfing, friends. The game will never be good to you, but once in a while, it gives you a small kiss on the cheek and makes it all worth it.

I will ask that maybe you move your ball if it’s in the middle of a wedding ceremony. I think golf will understand.

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John has grown up around movies and annoys friends and family with his movie facts and knowledge. He also has a passion for sports and pretty much anything awesome, and it just so happens, that these are the three things he writes about.

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